Christian pre-marriage counseling is designed to fully equip couples who are entering the most vital chapter of their lives. It teaches them the three important R’s in a marriage life, which when not given a deep thought or importance would make or break a wedding vow.
Sadly, a majority of people have not yet understood God’s wonderfully designed plan for their lives. It’s either they are much too absorbed with what the forthcoming union of them has to offer or they neglect to undergo Christian premarital counseling which they may find rather pointless or boring. However, proper premarital counseling can greatly increase the happiness and success that married couples will experience in their marriage for the rest of their lives.
Christian premarital counseling will help each couple understand and agree on their roles in the marriage. It does not mean that they will never argue, but it will establish how they resolve disputes, and it will encourage the couples to get any “sticky” discussions out of the way at the counseling sessions. The engaged couple may have to discuss sexual intimacy, child-rearing, work life, dealing with parents, personal finances, and other issues that cause tension between so many married couples.
Setting Roles in a Christian Marriage
One of the many topics discussed in a Christian premarital counseling program is in defining the success formula which God has given for a family living which is based on roles, relationships and responsibilities. This does not mean that each has to rigidly adhere to the prescribed role, but it gives a sense of stability and security to the relationship to know what is expected of you.
It is described in Ephesians 5:22 that a wife should submit to her husband, joyfully that is. If you find this too hard to do or if you want to switch roles, remember that this does not mean that the husband rules the household with an iron fist. After all, it is also stated in the Bible that husbands should love their wives, with the same passion they hold for the Lord and the Church. For most Christian married couples, this stipulation means that if a husband and wife are trying to find a solution to an important issue, it will be the husband who makes the final decision, after listening to his wife’s input, of course.
Christian Pre Marital Counseling Questions
Some topics that Christian marriage counselors may want to discuss before the marriage are:
- Will divorce ever be an option under any circumstances? If so, what circumstances? Will you make a vow to do everything you can to prevent a divorce?
- If you are of different faiths or denominations, how will any children be raised? Who will be in charge of
- How will you decide if and when you want children? How many children? Will you use contraception to prevent unwanted pregnancies?
- How will you ensure your commitment to each other remains strong, even in the face of children, deaths of loved ones, stress, loss of job, financial problems, etc?
- What will you do if you have relationship troubles you cannot fix on your own? Will you seek help from a religious leader, marriage counselor, or other help?
- What are the expected roles in the marriage, such as those discussed above? Will/should the wife work? Will she work while having young children? What if the husband needs to go to school to advance his career?
- What will you do if you disagree on an important religious or moral issue?
By discussing these topics in pre-marriage sessions, the couple will already know how they stand on important topics. And if the couple does disagree on fundamental issues that would eventually break up their marriage, it’s best to find out now, before the wedding, when the separation can be done with minimal lasting pain.
While Christian pre-marriage counseling is highly suggested, missing it does not mean the end of the world if you don’t get a chance to do it. If you aren’t yet married, you can do it yourself by talking about these topics, searching the Bible and your heart for your opinion on the issue, and then discussing each topic with an open mind and neutral tone with your partner. Fight for your marriage and make it strong again, because it is a treasure worth salvaging, no matter what the price.
