So, you’ve decided to end your long distance relationship and you want to know how to go about it. There is no easy answer, since exactly what you should say and how you should say it will depend on WHY you are ending the relationship. There are, however, several things you should NOT do when ending things. You may be especially tempted to do certain things when the relationship is long distance, since you can’t easily stop by and break the news in person. Even so, keep these things in mind before you proceed.

* Distance does not make the blow any easier. Even if you are several hundred miles apart, you are still essentially “dumping” this person and you should do so with tact. If anything, the distance may make things harder on your partner. He or she can’t see you, and it may feel less final or unresolved until you are able to have a face to face.   

*Don’t suddenly stop responding to emails, phone calls, etc… I know it may seem easier to just disappear without saying a word (No tears and no awkwardness) but resist the urge. This is a real person with real feelings you are dealing with, not just some voice on the other end of a telephone. You obviously cared for this person at one time, so do the decent thing and at least call on the phone to end your relationship. That’s right. The phone. Not via text message, Twitter, or by changing your facebook status to “single.” In fact, if there is any way you can meet the person face to face, this is even better (see above tip). If you can’t do that, then video chat is the next best thing, followed by a phone call.

* Follow all the other rules you’d typically follow for a relationship that isn’t long distance. Don’t bad mouth the person. Don’t dangle him or her around by calling out of the blue and then ignoring his or her calls the next day. Don’t flaunt new relationships out of spite.

* If you are ending the relationship because you can’t handle the distance, that’s fine. Just don’t use that as your reason when making your break if that’s NOT the reason. Doing so may give your ex partner false hope that if he or she moves closer, you two can rekindle things. If that is a possibility, great. Let things progress as they may. But if you are dumping the person because of personality clashes or other such issues, say so. You are doing no one any favors by being dishonest. Say it nicely if they must know the reason behind your decision, but be honest.

As a side note, if you are ending the relationship because of the distance… you may consider trying some things to keep your relationship alive until you can bridge the gap. If not, at least  you’ll be ending things on good terms.

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