When a couple has fallen in love and decided to marry, it is true that they’ve learned everything that is important about their significant other, or else they wouldn’t have made the decision they did. What is also true is that as a relationship continues and matures, as all healthy relationships do in marriage, other things become important and are worthy of notice and attention. If such things are ignored, an otherwise healthy relationship that enjoyed a great beginning can start to collapse under the weight of everything that is not being done and attention not being paid. That is why getting the answers to some pre marriage counseling questions is so important.
Pre-marriage counseling is an excellent opportunity for a couple to peer ahead into the future of their relationship while still on the firm footing of the present moment. Every couple begins their married life with places of strength and with growing edges. Not every couple is really clear on what their strengths are however, or where those growing edges might be located – this is where pre-marriage counseling advice can be so helpful.
- By the simple act of listening to the couple’s story and asking a few questions, the pre marriage counselor can start to map out the areas where the couple already seems to have built a strong foundation filled with all of the information the couple already knows about one another, and the healthy and helpful actions and behaviors that are peppered throughout the relationship.
- The marriage counseling session can also find out if the couple understands how to argue effectively – how to debate points without resorting to hurtful jabs or psychological moves to try to secure a “win.” For many couples planning to get married, they make promises they can’t keep, such promising they will never fight, but problem-solving arguments are actually helpful for the relationship.
The counselor is also able to point out potentially dangerous issues that may not yet be on the couple’s radar screen.
- These are the sort of issues that the couple may not have to worry about right now, but that at some point will need to be addressed, perhaps sooner than later, such as different approaches to raising children. Some marriage counseling questions will involve asking each partner how they plan to confront these issues at a later date – how can they work together to develop a win-win solution.
- The pre marriage counseling advice can, in those moments, be relied upon as a very practical resource filled with strategies to negotiate the conflicts that inevitably arise in any relationship, and methods to keep communication channels open and honest, even when the subject of conversation is a difficult one, such as finances and romance.
Pre marriage counseling advice may seem like one more hurdle to overcome in the midst the busiest time of a bride and groom’s life, but it will be the most helpful and invaluable investment these couples may ever make into the long-term health and happiness of their relationship.