GU wrote:

I need some advice or answer, my senior pastor in the church where I worship lost his wife in Nov, she was buried. In Dec. he started dating a woman.

When is the right time for him to start an affair? Is there no mourning period for Christians?

Dear GU,

Every person mourns in his or her own way, and there is no specific “time frame” that may work for everyone. Some may take years to get over losing a loved one, and others may only need a few months. There is no way to know what exactly went on in your pastor’s marriage. While I’m sure he loved his wife very much, it is possible their union wasn’t a happy one. Perhaps she made him promise he would move on and find happiness again. Or, it’s possible if she had a long illness, he was able to come to terms with the fact that he would lose her and say his goodbyes before she passed on. Additionally, no matter much he misses her and how much he loves her, he may be feeling a sense of relief or peace that she is finally at rest and no longer hurting. This is okay. Everyone has their own process, and the way one person reacts may not be the way someone else would. That’s also okay.

Even if you don’t understand it, try to be happy for your pastor that he’s found peace with his wife’s death.

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